feel like writing...

 Why do I feel lonesome? I want to connect with a friend and establish something thats worth keeping for a long long time. Feels like I should look for that person but no idea where to start and who should I look for. I just miss the company of people I can actually talk to. At my age, its really hard to find people whom you can relate to and the other way around. Maybe I missed my best friend.

I don’t find it difficult to talk to people or have other people talk to me but I have to admit you have to make sense so you can gain my trust and interest. I guess it will be hard for me to  find that person now. I still believe that He will send someone to me without me knowing it. An instrument of love and comfort. He is that kind. He chooses whom you’ll learn to love like how you love him. Someone who you’ll put your faith into because at some point in your life, you’ll have to depend on that person and that would worth the wait.

its so funny...

 oh diba a year ago I was wishing for 3 things but it all involves 1 thing, be back in Baguio. In two months I was back in Baguio but what now... its been a year but what changed? Nothing much actually or should I say its been another roller coaster ride. Honestly, I’ve never tried the roller coaster, not because I was afraid but because I don’t want to puke after riding it. See? Its not always what it seems. Sometimes its because of the things that you don’t want to happen. But I think, that’s one of my problems, I want to stay away from what would have. Maybe that is also the reason why I always feel anxious thinking about bungee jumping, sky diving and cliff diving. I really am a morbid person. I always think of the worst thing that could happen. 

I guess some things are unavoidable. 

Come to think of it even though I should be worried about tomorrow and not being able to pay the bills, why am I not worried anymore? I wonder why! Is it because I would always say, I will lift them all up to Him and let his big plans take over. I wonder if that is why. I can remember a month ago when I am ready to take all whatevers just to assure myself that we will be ok for the next several months. Its really amazing to feel this way. Although I want to worry, I can’t anymore because He is taking it away like what I always pray for.  For that I couldn’t be anymorw greatful.